MAN. so many things to say, not enough blog space that people will bother reading. My internet's been out since Sunday and I finally got it back yesterday, and now I have even MORE things to tell.  Goodness.  I'll try to condense. really.

-   I went to the movies with Rogelio last week to go watch Narnia.  I didn't really wanna see it cause I never even saw the first one, but he asked me and we never get to hang out so I went with a smile on my face -- and I thought the movie was really swell.
    However we got like freaking robbed, I swear to god.  The movie was $11.50 -- they're robbing teenagers! We also went to the candy store and it $9/pound! wth is that?! Fucking inflation.  The thing I love about Rogelio is that he always offers to pay for things haha.  I didn't want him to, so the only thing he really bought was an icee which we shared anyway.

-  I'm so hooked on MASH it's ridiculous -- just look at my icon!

-  We had dance auditions today.  I was shaking...so bad before the auditions.  All I want is to get into Interm. 3-4 -- If I get there, I will seriously....I don't even know.  The audition wasn't perfect, but I know I kicked butt on my combination.  Technique section wasn't so good though.  I tried, I didn't give up.  I'm just hoping for the best, it really means a lot so please just prayyy I got into the level I want.

-   Ohmygooooodness.   I went to a local show tonight! Ah man,  I've been saying I need to go to a concert, but seriously.  Ah man.  It felt great.  Got to see two really amazing bands.  And ohdearlord. The mosh was simultaneously one of the most dangerous and funnest things I've ever done in my life.  I've definitely learned a few tips though that I should keep in mind for next time I go moshing.  Ah, it was so fun though -- I wanna go again like now.  It was awesome. 
    just two of the many remarks I have on the moshing: 
short people do NOT belong in a mosh. especially youngins.
 ...don't wear loose clothing....or you'll lose it.  including bras.                                         

And local shows always mean hugs!  I love how much the local bands love their fans.  I mean the lead singer was talking to my friend Melissa and and mid-conversation he just puts his arms through the group to hug me, and similar situation with their guitarist.  I love hugs.  'Specially cause they're lead singer looked like Brendon Urie and their guitarist was wowohmygodadorable.

Anyway the two bands I got to see were: Kung Fu Girls [freaking blew my mind] & Uh Oh! Explosion [their last show before warped tour -- so it was pretty awesome and packed]

We walked to Denny's after but it wasn't too smart cause we were walking down PCH where all the horny guys honk and wink cause were presumed to be hookers and it was also past curfew so the SMART people in our group were trying not to attract attention so we wouldn't get ticketed by the cops.  BUT we got there and I'm alive and ticket-less, and the concert made me happy.

...you know what.  I'm not even gonna touch on anything negative cause my adrenaline's starting to go down and I don't remember much else.  I said the important things.....I think.

OH. The Dresden Dolls new album came out a few weeks ago, I bought it on the day of, but I just recently got to listening to it.  My favorite song on the album is also the one with one of the coolest titles.  It makes me happy.  See music for the title :D

oh and the title of this blog is a lyric from one of Uh Oh! Explosions signature songs.  It's like the only one I kinda sorta know, but I can't get it out my head.

OH! My new layout. it makes me happy.

ah man.

I hate having days where I feel like a failure.

I've been in an oddly optimistic mood for the past few days.

And today I was actually feeling pretty swell and then as I hear about other peoples' lives it just makes me feel like this year was a waste.

...I wish I had something to be proud of. but there really is just nothing there.

man.  Melissa always fails.

.... xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I love how the emoticon for blank is literally a blank face. xDDDDDDDD

My new desktop background and the cuuuuutest recent picture I've seen of them. Ash, it makes me happy :]




Oh yes, and I'm applying for a dance scholarship and I'm trying to talk to these people to get my gold award going and and I'm part of a benefit show and they want me to sing, "Hopelessly Devoed To You" from Grease. I'm not happy with it, but I shall deal D:

Since I am so behind on posting the David Choi Christmas Songs that make the world go 'round because I've been too busy to post, I'm posting my favorite ones :D WATCH THEM PLEASE. If you're gonna ignore them, at least watch the last one, it made me laugh....so incredibly much. It's awesome. xDDD The first two are really pretty ones and the third one is silly cause he's wearing a vintage 70s shirt on his head and singing with a silly southern accent thang.

I lack the time and energy to describe my stressful, incredibly painful week so far and the days to come.

HOWEVER.  I need help getting ideas for my girl scout gold award project.

I CAN'T GO INTO MAJOR DETAILS CAUSE ONCE AGAIN I HAVE NO TIME.  and I need ideas to discuss by this wed. night or i'm gonna die. SO PLEASE COMMENT WITH ANY IDEAS YOU MAY HAVE.

It has to take up at least 65 hours including planning and the actual event
it has to be benefiting or bettering the community or something to that effect


my main resources right now include:

Allen aka my accompanist at church - he's agreed to help me and be my advisor cause he's awesome in all ways possible and he has a lot of experience in the entertainment area

My orchestra teacher and through hi a few links into orchestra itself

AND HOPEFULLY, after my audition on thursday for another show, I will have access to the choral teacher

and mr. bowden the drama teacher

so...yes. there we go.  I don't know what else I have right now, but  ANY IDEAS, COMMENT RIGHT NOW.

Allen says even stupid ideas have made some of his greatest events.

But he also says I'm "full of talent and creativity", which almost makes me sad that I can't live up to what he thinks I am.

ANYWAY. THAT'S ALL I HAVE TIME FOR. ANYONE. ANY IDEAS. BLAHBLAHBLAH. COMMENTTT.

I need to get some new icons.

I finished reading my book this morning.  Now I'm depressed.

That book has touched me.  I related so well to the emotions and the just overall feel of it and it real appealed to me.

I'm so thankful for running into it at the bookstore D:

But it didn't end how I imagined it to at all, which in a way was good because it wasn't cliche, which I -hate- in books. 
The ending was very real.  I mean it couldn't just be the fairy tale kind of ending like I wanted, but it was still avery touching book.  Saying I love it just feels like such an understatement. 

I related so much with everything in that book in some way.  It was beautiful.

Before I go on, I should probably tell you what the book what, even though I know that everyone and their grandma has read or heard about this book.  It was A Million Little Pieces By James Frey.

It angers me at people's skepticisms towards this book.  When I was reading it down at CIMI last week my friend Hayley goes, "you know that's a load of shit, right?" and I'm like "...uh..?"

There's been all this crap about him exaggerating some of events for literary effect.  One being the time he spent in jail.  I dunno if it's just me, but honestly. Who the fuck cares how long he was in jail for?! Is it really that significant that you need to post articles calling him a liar and fraud? Jesus.  I don't see you making any personal, amazing recovery in your life and having the courage to write about it, so fucking shut your face. Honestly, I'm sure everyone that's ever written a memoir or something of some sort may have altered some details.  Does it matter so much that you need to denounce his name and all that he put into making that book? God, well fuck you then.

I'm sorry.  I'm just so very passionate about this book.  And I think it's a shame that because he altered a few details, he's all of a sudden this big fake.  I admire him and every single thing about that book.  I even took it to Mass with me today, after I had finished reading it cause If elt to emotionally attached to leave it at home.  So inspiring.  I'm probably going to read another one of his books.

Anyway, now that I've got that out.
does anyone know where I can get some nice layouts for my el-jay.  Cause I haven't found any to my liking, and I am in need of change.  Thank youz.

ah, man  finally weaned myself off the noah icon.  Well barely, I think I like to use it so much because I want to cuddle with Noah! gosh.  Anyway.  Homework's taking over the freaking world and I'm STILL waiting for this year to end because it's mentally and creatively frustrating.  And I'm also afraid cause I have low C's in three of my classes. Blah.

Anyway, for those of you I didn't tell, I was feeling rebellious to the max yesterday.  And I have no freaking clue why.  I honestly felt like if someone went up to me and was like HEY MELISSA LET'S GO DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL I'd be like FUCK YEAH! xDDD

Well that's unimportant anyway.  But I wouldn't advise any of you to offer me drugs, etc. this week. xDD





And before I forget.  EVERYONE, except for Iavana cause I already told her,  had to download this song "You" by Daniel Clark <--- It's Sean from Degrassi!  -- It's awesome-oooooo and it makes me happy.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=245702334

It's free, so get it.  Pleaseee. or I'll send it to you.

OH AND ALSO I AM GRADUALLY BUYING STUFF FOR MY AVATAR. AND I'M ALL CUTE.  But now it's like I have more internet money than i know what to do with, so right now I'm just kind of buying as i go, I still have about 4,500 something creds or something like that.

The happiness this icon brings me is indescribable. Gosh.  I DON'T HAVE THE HEART TO CHANGE IT.

Okay so.   HOMG SDJKCBFHSDUKBFKASDJBF. THINGS have happened in the past few days.


k_i_k_e_i
 knows like 90% of these things and will know 100% as soon as I call her tonight   xDDDD

Okay, so in school news Melissa failed her history text today, yet I did it with a smile cause my history teacher amuses me and something about him makes me want to be his best friend xDD

But ANYWAY, I'm feeling not so bad today beCAUUUSE.

- Last night, in my four-hour sleep because I was studying for my history test, I had the oddest, yet satisfying dream about Frankie.  Which was odd because MCR must;ve been the LAST thing on my mind before bed.  I mean, the whole time I was tyring to listen to SOAD pretty loud so I wouldn't dose off as often.  But yeah, it was a HELL of a lot better than that dream I had with him liiiike, what was it a week ago?  WHAT'S WITH ALL THE MCR DREAMS.  I haven't even been listening to them lately xDDD --- I'm too hooked on the Running With Scissors Soundtrack, Over the Hedge Soundtrack, and Canadian indie bands featured in "The Best Years"

- SECONDLY, I took this quiz on the-n.com [my complete and total new obsession] THIS IS WHAT I FORGOT TO TELL IAVANA and it was like "What should your major be?" and I got Art, Film, and Philosophy.  Which made me happy.  For those of you I haven't ranetd to about it, I am reallly keen on taking Film Analysis next year.  It was weird, because I was telling my friend about it and she was like "well my counselor told me some colleges won't accept that as an english course" and then i started getting very defensive I guess, and she pointed it out to me.  I guess I'm more passionate about taking it than I thought xDDD But either way, The quiz that was "What Best Years character are you?" told me I was Noah and he's all Film-y [in fact he had an affair with his Film Professor xDDD].  So maybe it's destined.

- Catalina tomorrow morning. yayyy I'll be gone til Sunday afternoon, sooo have a good weekend everyone :]

- AAAAAND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.  IN THE BEST FREAKING NEWS EVER.  This week, not only was I featured in the-n.com's blog for giving awesome advice.  I JUST FOUND OUT I WON THE FREAKING AVATAR CONTEST. HOLY FREAKING YEAH.  No one knows what this is, except Iavana SO I SHALL ELABORATE:

On The-N there's a new show coming out tomorrow night and in honor of that premiere, my favorite The-n.com employee, The-Seth, made a contest saying whoever could make their avatar look as "unfortunate" as possible would win 5000 creds, and if you included a roomate pun in it [because the show is about roommates] you would get bonus points.  Creds are like internet money that can only be used on The-N.com, but they're constantly being sought after because that's how you buy things for your avatar and the only way to get them is buy browsing a million pages on the sight and a little thing will tell you, you won 3-15 creds.  Everything good in the avatar mall is al LEAST a couple hundred creds.  And I had to use up the majority of my creds to make my avatar entry, BUT NOW I'M FREAKING RICH IN THE-N.COM MONEY AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.  Seriously, I was ecstatic.  I did like....the lngest happy dance of my life around my house.  I think it was about equivalent when I got that part in the play at the Long Beach Playhouse only happier.  xDDD There were over 600 freaking entries and only 10 were picked.  I feel so honored.  When I get back home, I am totally going on an Avatar Mall Shopping Spree.  AND THIS ALSO MEANS THE-SETH KIND OF SORT OF KNOWS ABOUT ME xDDDD He's so awesome.



EDIT: HERE'S THE LINK YAY :D

http://www.the-n.com/checkit/nsider.php  -- That's to the Website News/blog thang.  I'm featured in:

About a Girl Unfortunate Avatar Winners
posted 10/04/2007

and

We've got spirit! Yes we do!
posted 10/01/2007

I think you can all guess what my username is.  The first one's my winning avi and the second on has my quoted advice towards the end.

ah. I love my regular youtube-ys.

self-explanatory. i love this show....but...COME ON. god. WHYY DRAKE BELL WHY.